Happiness

I woke up this morning wanting more, wanting a different life, wanting my circumstances to be different. As my many thoughts rolled from one area of my life that was not satisfying me to another, more and more areas came to my mind! My emotions/feelings got more and more depressed and discontent.

The last few days I have had a thirst for the Holy Spirit more than I have ever experienced, I feel physically thirsty; the kind of thirst you have after running a race on a hot summer day. Lord, quench this thirst I thought.

As I sat and tuned into the spirit and talked with Him about this discontentment feeling, God simply asked me a question, “What would make you happy?”

As I contemplated the question and gave Him the answers, I realized I had everything I thought would make me happy but I still wanted more. I realized this was not a physical thing but an issue that needed fixing in my spirit. God had brought it to the top on my mind cause it was time…yes time, to deal with those issues.

From past experience I knew dealing with them hurts, but boy is life more free once they are addressed and dealt with. I knew I hated these feelings; I want to be peaceful and feel His spirit 24/7 and until the root of this issue was pulled out I couldn’t have what I really wanted.

Digging into His Spirit by worshipping Him, the Lord gave me a HUGE revelation. I got a picture of myself in front of the enemy and he was calling me a loser because I mess up all the time. Wow it was so in my face but I never saw it before, the thoughts deflated me and cause my unsettlement. The enemy was lying to me and I was agreeing with Him.

Through the various songs I was listening to God so gently reminded me of the truth about Him and my relationship with him:

1. I am sweetly broken so I will go to Him
2. He will then shower me with Grace to refresh me
3. He then reassured me of His love for me and His confidence in me
4. He also reminded me He would never let me go because I was something beautiful to Him even in me current condition
5. He then reminded me of the blood of Jesus and the power that is in it
6. This love and kindness reminded me that I’m free, free to live the life He created for me
7. He did all of this so that I can go and encourage others in the same situation and tell them of His love and grace for them